Building a Coaching Vocabulary

I believe that coaching is a new language. In order to learn that language and build a coaching vocabulary, at the beginning of my coach training classes, I ask my students to memorize coaching questions and coaching responses. Along with that, we use role playing to simulate a variety of coaching situations. Once we build our vocabulary, the true power behind these questions and words may and will be revealed only when they are being personalized by the coach. However, to make that language “your own” takes time. And when the time comes for my students to coach real people, I ask them to forget everything they’ve learned and trust that their deep listening and deep caring will bring about the right response without them having to consciously search for it.The danger to watch out for is for coaches to hold on to these responses and questions as a child holds on to their safety blanket for too long. When a coach clings to these memorized questions, these type of questions will stick out like a sour thumb, feel out of place and may be foreign to the language their client can naturally relate to, which may result in lack of trust. When we train people to coach, we must be careful to set that expectation for their own “freedom” — letting them know that what they must learn at the beginning will and must become their second nature after they practice for some time; and their coaching language will become a language they speak fluently without having to look up words in a proverbial “coaching dictionary”. What are your best practices for building your coaching vocabulary?

 

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