Passionate Detachment as Core Coaching Competency
Ask any new coach why she decided to pursue coaching and she will likely say that she is passionate about coaching. “I just care about my clients so much! Coaching is my passion.” The irony is that unchecked passion can only get in the way of being present as a coach. Passion can make you care too much about your client. In your desire to build intimacy with the client, you could infringe on the space they need to find their own insights. It is interesting to me that while building intimacy is listed as a competency, learning to practice detachment is not. Detachment is not indifference. It is recognizing that you are just a guide on your client’s journey, but it is their journey. So even in your passionate desire to help them, you need to distance yourself. You need to allow them to find their own way whether they crawl, walk, run or build a spaceship to get to their destination. What do you think? Do you agree that to be an effective coach, detachment is just as important as passion?
Guest Blog by Kay Fudala, Consultant and Creative Coach at www.kayfudala.com, currently enrolled with Goal Imagery Institute Holistic Life and Career Coach Training.
Fringe Benefits of Coaching and Learning to Coach
Thinking about becoming a Coach?
It’s hard work, but there are a number of great “fringe” benefits to going through the program. Here are a few of my favorites:
#1 Collaborating with other like-minded people.
Not only do we share ideas, but we support each other, and as you learn a new skill, that support makes a huge difference.
#2 Coaching is a little like therapy but it can be therapeutic.
It’s not the same as therapy nor it should be, but you do talk out your problems with a supportive listener. And, really, doesn’t everyone need that sometimes?
#3 Our class is part of a much larger network of students and professional coaches.
These are vital connections as we move forward…Need advice? Ideas? Support? Coaching? Just click!
#4 Learning to coach is like having a detailed framework on how to connect with and engage with other people respectfully.
Attentive listening, being in the moment, and asking permission before sharing unsolicited advice…priceless!
As I mentioned at the beginning, these are fringe benefits, and don’t even take into account the main idea…receiving training may very well start you off on a new career path that you love. Enough said!
Submitted by guest blogger, Santina Devine, who is currently enrolled in the 6-month Holistic Life and Career Coach Training Course at Goal Imagery Institute.
Down The Rabbit Hole Looking For A Life Coaching School
I never thought researching Life Coaching Schools would be like trying to get a straight answer from a CIA agent!!! It’s so confusing, so frustrating, and absolutely crazy making! Between modules this, and packages that, fast track, advanced, experiential learning, cycle-to-cycle and city-to-city, pods, face-to-face, teleclasses, telephone, webcasts, virtual classrooms, online, in-person, or any combination of the above, it’s more complicated than ordering a coffee drink at Starbucks!!!
I thought, “OK, maybe if I ask very specific questions, that will work.” I must admit, some schools actually answered my questions but then there was “Watch the video.” “Check the website.” “You must have a free coaching-consultation session.” A free coaching consultation? Are you kidding me? I can’t take it anymore!! Please, Coaching Schools, do yourselves a favor, make it simple and easy, or your prospective students will go elsewhere! I finally did find a school that was actually easy to understand, so I didn’t feel like I had to take a class to find a class. It turns out, it was the best deal of them all!
Contact Marianna Lead, MCC, ICF Assessor to receive The Comparison Grid of Coach Training Schools and schedule a complimentary consultation to bring clarity to coach training options and help you make the right decision>>http://lifeandcareercoachtraining.com/copy/contact/
Guest Blog by Denise McCanles, Goal Imagery Institute Graduate and Certified ICF Coach Helping Professionals Find Their Creative Outlet to Preserve Their Sanity!
Promises, promises…
So many coaches and coaching schools promise and even guarantee results. Does it mean that a coach is willing to take responsibility for what his /her clients do or not do? Does it mean that a coach training school is taking responsibility how someone would coach and build their coaching business? Is this in integrity? Is this an authentic promise? Even medical doctors don’t guarantee results. Do some coaches have a God Complex? I mean, who could take that type of responsibility for another human being? And coach training schools that promise that you’ll have a blossoming coaching practice as soon as you graduate — are you kidding me? It takes a bit more than that… Your thoughts?
Speaking about “Niches”…
I trust the process — the coaching process — and since we use (or at least try as much as we can) content-free language, it doesn’t really matter what niche / type of coaching we do. “Niche” only changes the general topic of the conversation. In other words, it changes the topic from “executive” to “career” to “relationship” to “health” issues, etc. — but the coaching process always stays the same. Of course, it’s always nice to have additional templates and resources when you know your market and want to focus on a specific niche. However, it’s not as nearly important as some imagine it to be. The most important things are: trust the coaching process and be in the moment. What do you think?
Is it ok to interrupt your client with a supportive comment or acknowledgment?
Yes, I am talking about a “good” coach who is making sounds “uh-huh” and says “right, right” over her client, interrupting with “That sounds so great!!” or “WOW! Congratulations!” The funny thing is, it’s not a conscious choice on behalf of a coach. Coach is anxious to show “support” and “acknowledge” her/his client. The problem is, it backfires and focuses the energy on the coach instead of the client.Even positive feedback stops the flow of client’s thinking. As a Coach Mentor and ICF Credentialing Assessor, I hear this behavior a lot lately. It’s interesting to me that clients usually accept it as a part of their coaching conversation. Well, they just don’t know the difference and usually don’t judge their coach. However, whether a client is aware of it or not, it stifles the session flow and client’s progress. It becomes a clear case of “unintended consequence”.
FREE Webinar: Attracting More Paying Coaching Clients with Your Website. By Noomii’s CEO, Kurt Shurster
As a special treat, I’m inviting you to participate in a FREE session with Noomii’s CEO, Kurt Shuster, on how to make YOUR website work harder for you. He’ll share his insights based on experience with helping thousands of coaches turn their website visitors into paying clients.
KURT WILL SHARE THE SECRETS THAT HE NORMALLY SHARES ONLY WITH HIS PAID CUSTOMERS. You will learn:
-What elements of your website prospective clients most want to see
-What you’re probably leaving out of your website and why it’s hurting you
-How to “convert” window shoppers on your website into paying clients
THESE INSIGHTS ARE NOT OPINIONS — THEY ARE BASED ON REAL DATA FROM REAL PAYING CLIENTS.
WHEN: Wed, June 25 at 2pm Eastern (11am Pacific)
REGISTER NOW: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/how-to-turn-website-visitors-into-paying-clients-free-teleclass-registration-11926768285.
Missing this may mean seriously missing out on getting clients…So, register now and put it on your calendar!
See you there,
Marianna
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FREE from the World Business & Executive Coach Summit (WBECS)
Just as last year, I’d like to share with you this special link to join the World Business and Executive Coach Summit (WBECS) and benefit from their free Pre-Summit coaching presentations: http://wbecs.com/
They include:
- My Definition of Success by John C. Maxwell
- The Truth About Leadership by Jim Kouzes
- The Latest Developments and Future Challenges, Including New Methods for Supervising Team Coaching by Peter Hawkins
- Integral Leadership: Building Resilience, Openness, and Creativity in Leaders by James Flaherty
- Generative Thriving: Professional Sovereignty is Key by Janet Harvey
- Coaching Across Cultures: Leveraging Cultural Differences for Creativity, Unity and Purpose by Philippe Rosinski
- The Key to Success in Life and Business is to Become a Master at Conversational Intelligence by Judith Glaser
- ROI of Coaching: Three Keys to Success by Lisa Ann Edwards
And many more…
Register for all these complimentary sessions here: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/
Being in the Moment v. Being on Purpose
Even though Eastern approaches are becoming more and more mainstream and are being accepted by us as a healthy way of living, we don’t really buy into it fully. Not really. And, from a coaching perspective, even though “being in the moment” is regarded as very important, coaching, as a discipline, is very much results- and future-oriented. In fact, both “being in the moment” and “being on purpose” are core coaching attitudes. How do we reconcile them and find balance? Can someone be truly in the moment while constantly structuring and strategizing over their future?
From a philosophical point of view towards life and living, “being in the moment” is a meditative, Zen attitude of accepting, receiving, being still in the moment and appreciating it fully. Nothing to move towards, nothing to do, the moment is perfect in itself and on its own. Don’t we take ourselves “out of it” when we dream about the future? When we strategize? When we think where we’d like to be instead of where we are right now?
In our culture, we don’t allow ourselves to just be happy and content without a specific reason. Why do we need a reason to be happy? Why not be happy “just because”? Why is it that we ask our children, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” Why not let them to “just be” and enjoy the moment? What are your thoughts?