Tag Archives: ICF
Coaching & Training: Judging versus Telling the Truth
I don’t believe that my client has the talent she thinks she has. I watched her perform – and it sucked! Do I tell her?
One of the aspiring actresses hired me to coach her in preparing her own one-woman show. She was going to invest lots of time and money in this. She invited me to see some of her work and it was awful. The problem was that she thought she did great. I wanted to be honest, but I also wanted to be supportive. I was also thinking about “judging”, which we, as coaches, are not supposed to do. However, if I didn’t tell her, I’d be out of integrity.
Whatever it was, I just wanted to do the right thing.
I went back to the ICF core competencies and read about “direct communication”, but I still didn’t know what to do. However, after reading it, I had a shift in my own energy. I decided to stay open, be thoughtful and caring, and, at the same time, be in integrity. I also decided that if needed be, Id just ask for a permission to be honest and direct. I meditated a bit before my next session with her and when we started, “things” just came up naturally. I asked her if she inquired about what other people thought of her performance. Then I asked her if she perceives her show to be a business or a hobby. Then we went into a discussion (she talked, I listened) of how differently she should be treating it now, realizing that this is her new “business”. Out of that discussion she came up with an idea of checking out her competition (other one-woman shows), making sure that her product is a high quality product (getting expert opinions), etc., etc.
My insight was that shifting my energy and emotionally preparing myself for the session enabled me to be both supportive and honest.
Were you ever challenged like that as a coach? Did you ever feel that you had to be straightforward with your client and just tell them the truth, but didn’t want to be “judging” wondering if this was your place to even say anything at all? Please share your story.
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